Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I'm Living My Twenties Just Fine

Buckle up guys, cause I am bothered. I have been seeing a lot of lists around the social media realm with titles like "What Not To Do In Your Twenties" or "25 Things You Have To Do Before You Turn 30". Being the near-24 year old that I am, I read these lists in hopes of finding some good advice or some small form of enlightenment. So far all I have found is some plainly obvious good advice like spending time with family, but other than that I have found many self absorbed philosophies. I have gathered some that stand out the most, and will explain why things like this not only bother me, but can be offensive to people like me, and those that came before us twenty-something-year-olds. 

If you've got the time, read on, but bottom line- Live your twenties in a way that is best for you. Don't fall into "what not to do" and "have to's", its your life, and no one can tell you otherwise, that includes me. I'm just a girl on the internet after all. 

1. "Working for money, not for building your dreams.
Never do anything just because it’s convenient for you. Look to challenge yourself and build your own dream instead of building someone else’s. Even if it doesn’t exactly make sense now, create something with great value so you can cash out big.
Always look to the future and never for immediate compensation. What are you going to do with those weekly wages anyways? Stop being so entitled and pretending like you deserve cash, prizes and vacations just yet. You will soon realize once you’ve made it that making money doesn’t make you happy. It’s the journey."
This is ideal advice, in theory. The reality is "those weekly wages" are needed to pay rent, buy groceries, pay bills, and over all survive as a functioning self-sufficient adult. Though there is a lot of truth to "making money doesn't make you happy, its the journey", unless you are being fully supported by your parents this is not a luxury granted to most people, and you shouldn't be made to feel like a money grubber simply because rent is due. 

2. "Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love.
While all of your friends might be doing it, don’t fall into the trap of a relationship. Sure it seems like the right thing to do, but your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual.
Not only does it make you complacent with where you are in life, but it makes you boring. When your business is at stake and your future is resting on your shoulders, the last thing you need is to be bogged down by an insecure lover rushing you home.
Get out there, meet new people, test the limits and have fun. It will take you to the places you’ve only dreamed of going."
Don't fall into the "trap of a relationship"? What this is telling me is that your twenties should be entirely focused on yourself, and that reaching out to another person will be a waste of precious me-time. I am married (and before the age of 25 even!) and am truthfully a much better person for it. By all means you should be comfortable with yourself and being alone, but caring and loving another person has not made me complacent or "boring". I have started my career, become independent of my parents, we rented our first apartment, and we help each other grow. We motivate each other, and have become better people for it. Relationships are not "traps", and its rude to assume all of your friends in relationships have fallen into traps.

3. "Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time.

Unless you’re chilling with Victoria’s Secret models in Monaco this weekend, you shouldn’t even be thinking about taking a break anytime soon. You need a vacation?
What have you accomplished? Mark Cuban spent seven years building out his first business before he even took a break. Don’t get lazy now."
This one really depends on your interpretation of a "break". Everyone needs a break at some point, no matter your age or success. College students for example, work very long inconsistent hours, often while trying to support themselves. I calculated my average week once while in college, and I came to an average of 60-70 hours of homework/class time per week PLUS my 24hr/week job. Don't tell me we don't deserve a break just because we are young. It doesn't make any sense.

4. "Sticking with jobs that didn’t teach you anything

A bad job is like an unhealthy relationship. Truthfully, the only reason you’re there is because it is the safest and easiest thing you know.
Any job or relationship that allows for you to get comfortable should be avoided at all costs. The last scenario you could ever want is becoming like the rest of those miserable 40-somethings faced with weekends of minivans and soccer practice."
Truthfully the only reason I have stuck with bad jobs is because I need to pay my rent on time so I can keep a roof over my head. Not because it is safe or easy or comfortable. Waiting tables for minimum wage is anything but comfortable, working a 10 hour day with no overtime to the point of injuring your foot is not safe. And as for "the rest of the miserable 40-somethings", that is just plain assuming and ungrateful. May I ask who took you to your soccer practices and supported your childhood? Probably a 40-something with a car your stuff would fit in, who worked damn hard to take care of you. Show some respect. 

5. "Do some drugs. Nothing hard like heroin or ice, but do some mushrooms or take some ecstasy in a room full of people you love. Hold hands and stroke each others hair, and tell one another how wonderful you are. Drugs are pretty stupid, so try them out while they still have some mystique."

Drugs are pretty stupid but do them anyway. Very sound advice. So just because something has mystique means its not a stupid thing to do? Being in your twenties makes doing drugs less stupid? 

6. "Give your credit card a workout because you don’t have kids or a mortgage. Eat cans of beans for dinner but do it in the gorgeous dress you bought and your best high heels because you’ll never be this young or this stupid again, so you might as well have the decadent things that make you happy, guilt free."

I'm all for small doses of this, like getting a new sweater instead of extra cookies and that holiday tea at the grocery store or eating spaghetti at home instead of going out for the sake of some new shoes, but sacrificing your health for material possessions will quickly become unfulfilling and unhealthy. I would imagine this kind of philosophy also sets you up for falling into debt later in life.

reference: Article 1, Article 2

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